My Life Didn't Start Until You Came
by SnowIscolorless
Summary: My life has been normal up until now. And with normal i mean, completely boring and uneventful, the life that I chose for myself. And I was quite happy with it actually, and then she started in my class. She. Hinata Hyuuga. Just by batting an eyelash she had me under control. She isn't even doing it intentionally. I'm screwed.
1. The Start Of Something

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... _Yet!_ (No but seriously, I don't own any part of Naruto)

A/N: This is my first femmeslash fic, so pardon my mistakes.

I had uploaded this before, but somehow I lost it. :/

Anyway, enjoy!

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My skullcandy headphones vibrates when the beats start to roll in harder, sound waves travel along my body and i shudder as they gently sweep me in into a fog of happiness.

The room around me is coal black, curtains covering the windows and no lamps lightning.

I don't want my mother to find out that I'm still up, under the bed covers with my laptop.

I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway, due my insomnia.

And yes, I love the internet. The forums there has shown me more understanding then the so called real-life people has. I shiver again as my favorite part of the song plays.

The clock on my night stand glows 3:26 and i inwardly sigh.

Soon I would be dragged out of this dreamy blur,out of my room, i would be forced to go to school, and i would have to face reality once again.

I have no friends, and I'm not sure if I want any either.

It feels like I am watching the world out from a window constantly, i can't understand their thinking. What's running through their mind while they are smiling, how they so uneffortlessely can laugh. People find me scary when they caught me me staring at them, but I'm really just examining their interactions.

...Okay, I admit that even to myself I do sound freaky.

I shift and lay on my back instead, staring up at the ceiling.

Life is actually a bit as a game, amazing graphics, but a crappy plot.

I freeze as I hear footsteps echoing through the hallway, right outside my door.

I quickly hide the laptop under the covers and go into pretending-to-sleep mode.

Closing my eyes I listen as the door creaks open,

"Rise and shine!" I hear my mother cheerily, too cheerily voice muse.

I yawn and do a little stretch, pretending that I've just woken up.

"morning, mom"

"breakfast is ready, honey, come down when you've made yourself ready" And with that she walks out, her heels continuing to echo as she walks through the house.

I hate that sound, but my mother insists on being fashionable and always wear those skyscraper heels with a matching little dress plus the huge amount of makeup, making her look at least 10 years younger.

People mistake her for my sister, and i find that incredibly annoying.

I want a mother, not a middle aged woman running around playing a irresponsible teenager.

Slowly, zombie-ishly I make my way into the bathroom and start to torment my tangled up pink hair with a hairbrush.

After flushing down the fallen hairsstays in the toilet i put on some makeup, which take about 5 minutes. I know these girls who take 2 hours to cake stuff on to their faces for perfection, but hey, i ain't got no time for that.

After a innocent amount of mascara framing my emerald green eyes and a bit of blush just to give my pale face some color I'm done. Oh, and don't forget the big click of concealer i use to cover up my dark circles.

After dragging on a couple of well-fitting jeans and a green t-shirt i run downstairs, loudly, knowing that my mother is gone.

We never eat breakfast together anymore, she's too busy with her job as a writer for some oh so hellishly boring fashion magazine.

I'm still proud of her though, at least she must be doing something right with thought on all these money she cash in each month.

The definition of a independent woman I guess.

Well..., Atleast on the outside, but I do think that she needs to get laid.

Sometimes I hear her crying to those silly soap operas that goes late on night, which I by the way find obscene and annoying.

Chomping down the sand which I prepared for myself yesterday i suddenly remember that we're gonna get a new girl in the class today, who's gonna sit next to, guess who? me.

Every other seat in the classroom is taken, and i was fine without some idiot next to me.

But now there is no escape, the seat next to mine is the only one left.

Oh lord, please do not let it be one of those stupid non-shutupable girls.

Please.

… Though, I guess that ? isn't that lucky either, getting to sit next to the class's outcast.

After I've finished my meal I put on my leather boots and the thick cozy jacket i got from my aunt Tsunade last winter. I tug my backpack over my shoulder and frown as I see the snow rapidly falling down from the sky outside. Damn.

I take a couple of deep breaths before rushing out into the battling snow storm that wants to murder my hair and makeup, lock the door and dash with my head down towards the bus stop that is, thank god , not too far away from my home.

The bus arrives, the chauffeur glaring daggers, blood dripping daggers at me as I step in.

I don't know what's up with him, but he seems to have taken a disliking to me.

"Well, fuck you too" I say calmly, with a sweet innocent grin on my face.

...Or no, not really.

I don't want to end up on the newspaper's headline as the girl who brutally got murdered by the psycho bus chauffeur. And they'd also probably describe me as a "quiet and nice girl" you know, as they always do. Ugh.

So i don't say it, but you bet I'm thinking it. I look into his eyes and hope that my message telling him that i bloody don't like him either come across.

He staples my bus ticket, giving me one last engrossed look before he goes back to driving.

What the heck is he even doing on a bus full of up to 70% braindead teenagers that act like monkeys on steroids?

But then, of course, there is some smart people. But they are rare.

Anyway, the chauffeur goes apeshit if he sees someone standing, so I sit down next to a girl, not really bothering to see her face.

I do smell her perfume though, a sweet haunting smell, reminding me of vanilla and roses.

She hasn't taken too much, as I see other girls do all the time.

One spray is enough, but no. They practically drug perfume, and you can smell "HEY! I'M DESPERATE!" oozing from them miles away.

I get curious and is just about to turn around to take a short glance of her when the bus stops, the doors goes up and hell breaks loose. Teenagers shoving and stressing everywhere. I get pulled into the mass of faces and i struggle to make my way out of the cramped bus just like everyone else is, finally i stumble out through the door and out on the street.

White smoke come out of my mouth as I huff into the winter air.

I walk into the tall, gray,cold, boring building made out of cement, even called, school.

Cozy, huh?

My locker is just like anybody else's locker in this school, blue, metallic and worn out. Everything is worn out here actually, from the wooden benches we have placed here and there, to the cracks that runs along the walls.

I collect my notebook and then close the locker.

So why am I going to a school that might as well could have a big banderoll saying "free death by accident here!"

That's what I'm asking myself too, until i remember that it's my mother's fault.

She and her fucked up morals.

Apparently this is the school she had gone to as a kid, and for some reason that made me obligated to go here as well. Like if it was some kind of family treasure that had to be passed down to further generations. Or more like a curse.

I make my way down the hallway. Completely ignored.

I see girls hugging each other in every corner, guys patting each other on their backs.

I only have myself to hug, and my own back to pat.

… Which I don't do, I would look like an complete idiot.

Paper planes are flying across the room, hitting me the instant i walk into the classroom.

I'm shocked. They have never been this clear about detesting me before, but now they have seem to taken it up a notch. Public humilation.

"Aw, look at her expression! Priceless!" Ino shrieks and falls back in her chair, snickering.

And that's how I constantly get reminded about how much i truly hate humanity.

Against my will, I blush slightly, knives digging around in my stomach.

I knew their game, their dirty play. And i wasn't going to tag along with it, ignoring them i calmly sit down at my chair.

Our teacher, Kakashi Hatake something walks in. He slowly gazes down upon us all with his lazy eyes. There's only 3 things you actually need to know about him.

1. He's a fucking weirdo. 2. He's a fucking weirdo. And 3. He's a fucking weirdo.

I'm also pretty sure that the book he always carries around is porn. I shudder.

The new girl wasn't here yet, I noted.

Late on the first day huh? She's got some guts it seems. A delinquent maybe?

I stare down at my blank paper, and before I know the door flings open.

Heavy breathing is heard. "I-i-i'm s-s-so so-sorry!" The girl bows her head down, a blush forming on her cheeks. And her forehead. And nose. And chin. Well, yeah, her whole face is basically red.

I hear the guys in the back elbowing each other, obviously finding her cute.

"I bet she's faking it, false bitch." I hear Ino mutter, snapping her pen in two.

Kakashi stands up and lazily throws a hand up to point at her "This is Hinata Hyuuga, she'll be joining your class, as you already know. Be nice to her" He adds, moving his gaze to Ino, who immediately smiles sheepishly. Then he rests his eyes on the whole class "I understand that you're curious, but save your questions for later, I have a class to run"

He motions for Hinata so sit down on the chair next to mine, and so she does.

She sits down gently, brushing invisible dust of her jeans and tugs her hair behind her right ear.

I watch the whole thing, quite perplexed. She moves like a feline, gracefully.

Her her is coal black, with a tint of blue. I open my mouth slightly in surprise when her eyes meet mine.

They look gray from far away, but when I take a closer look I see that they are in fact light violet.

I also notice her perfume. Same as the one I smelled from the bus.

I smile slightly at the coincidence, and my heart takes a jump when she shyly smiles back.

… _Okay. Sakura. What the fuck? Behave normally. _

I flash her a couple of cold stay-away eyes.

_There. That's more like it. Now, continue to focus on your blank paper._

I obey my inner voice, but as soon as I see her smile drop, and how it gets replaced by a helpless frown, I feel a bit guilty. A bit. Which means that it's ignorable.

And that's what i do. Ignore it... Or at least i try.

I realize that this is gonna be a looong year.

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Please review if you like it! Heck, even review if you thought that it was total crap!

But if you do think it's crap, tell me what i can improve :D

And since you're looking at this i assume that you've actually read the whole chapter...

Thank you for putting up with it, even though i'm sure there was some mistakes that made you wanna rip your hair out ;D


	2. A year together

I decided to continue, thank you for all the lovely comments, they are my reason to keep writing.

Disclaimer: *pouts* Apparently, 30 bucks of my month allowance isn't enough to buy Naruto, thus, I have yet to own it.

_I'm laying in the bathtub. As soon as I woke up, 4 am, empty, I knew what I had to do. I had filled the tub up to the edge, it had leaked out as I stepped in. My determination however did not falter._

The water is too hot, and It made my head feel heavy and cloudy.

My breath is coming out ragged, it's the only thing that can be heard in the big clinical bathroom. I slump deeper into the wet liquid until it's eaten me all up, clinging to my body as if they were hands roaming all over it.

I stare up at the blurry ceiling from beneath the surface, my eyes stinging.

"_No one_ will miss you" A small voice in my head whispers. Or perhaps, death itself says right next to me, wanting to drag me down into hell. Luring me in. "_No one_ will care"

"_No one_ loves you" Still underwater, I feel my lungs getting desperate for air. My body is fighting against what I want to do, to accomplish. I manage to hold myself down while everything inside of me is struggling to get me up, it doesn't want to die, It makes me open my mouth to gasp for air, but all it gets is water which fills up my lungs to the limit of explosion.

My arms and legs are frantically grasping the edges of the bathtub, trying to climb up.

Dark flickers before my eyes, large spots of purple and black covering my vision, and then… and then my body turns limp. Has it given up?

_Everything goes black. Yes… Finally_

Everything is still black when I regain conscience.

It takes a while before my eyes get used to the light, I realize that I'm in my own room. The soft familiar buzzing from my laptop can be heard, also the birds carelessly chirping outside.

A dream. Ah, I'm so silly, so, so silly. Of course it was a dream, just as every single other fucking time. I'm used to this, I tell myself, to no avail. You're used to this, man up.

But still, my sweaty palms are shaking, I subconsciously reach out for the little can of pills on my nightstand as i've done many times before. _Benzodiazepine._

The jar feels good in my hand. I pop one pill out in my hand and shuffle it into my dry mouth, swallowing it without no water. My head turns cloudy.

I lean back and sleep again, for about 3 seconds before my mother rushes in.

"Sakura! Good morning my little mocking jay!" Oh. My. God.

"No nicknames, mom"

"Oh, right." She pouts "You didn't mind them as a child though"

"I didn't mind running around halfnaked either, logic wasn't my strongest side back then" I counter, annoyed. I shouldn't have. Too late did I realize that I gave her the opportunity to start a shitstorm of child hood happenings.

"Oh my,oh my… reminds me of when you and your cuisine took a bath and you… " And this is the part where she starts talking about the most embarrassing stuff I've ever done in the earlier years of my life when my brain wasn't molded properly and running around showing off my ladyparts seemed as damn good idea.

"Mom" I interrupt with a groan "Do so not go there"

She giggles slightly, probably thinking of me as a child doing god knows what, something incredibly humiliating. She tries to remain serious. Her Poker face sucks.

"Right, just wanted to wake you up before leaving"

Something's nagging her mind though. I can see it in her eyes. The way she's fidgeting with her hands. The awkward posture.

"What?"

"Sakura… You and Ino don't really hang out anymore, do you?, have you had a fight maybe?"

If she only knew. Oh if she only knew.

I take a deep breath, … should I tell?

"Yes mom… Actually, Ino's a major bitch nowadays and I'm considering murdering her some day soon, I'll remember to call you from jail"

… No, that won't do. Instead, to sooth her worrying motherly mind I said;

"Sure, we hang out sometimes. Just not as much at home anymore"

And in a instant the agitated wrinkles in her forehead disappear. So easy to lie.

"Great" And with that, she walks out.

Just like that. She didn't notice the dark circles under my eyes, nor the haunted look they carry. She didn't notice the depressed aura that almost seem to ooze out from me.

Something tells me she does know deep down, it's just easier not to.

Ignorance over reality can be a bliss. She doesn't _want_ to know.

I heavy my body out of the bed and stumble into the bathroom on unsteady legs like Bambi on ice. Goosebumps cover my whole body and shivers run up my spine.

I see my own eerie corpse lying in that bathtub. Pale, naked, mouth open, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Lifeless… Peaceful? I shake my head, as if hoping that the thoughts would be shaken out as well.

Stupid wishful thinking.

They don't disappear, of course.

I don't even give the bus driver my usual fiery glare when he sneers and gives me a snobbish look. I end up giving him a glare equal to an angry, miserable kitten that's gotten a bucket of cold water all over itself which isn't very threatening, but my mind is racing. The dream on repeat, all over, and over, and over again.

I sigh and take a free seat in the back of the bus.

A group of people in my class always sit in the front. Their laughter and loud talking is heard clearly, a grown man further away grunts and looks annoyed, wanting peace and quiet probably. He's not the only one. I grind my teeth in annoyance, more hysteria is the last thing I want.

A high pitched, so bitchy and fake laughter that it could only belong to one person fills the bus. Ino.

I hear her saying, with her annoying nasal voice "No way! She's such a slut, you can totally see it. She's just pretending, SO obvious!" She slurs with her voice slightly, in that haughty way. It doesn't take much brain to know that it's the new girl she's talking about.

Hi…na… something, Hinari? Fuck it. Either way, the poor girl had the luck to end up next to the class's misfit, and the class in which the psychotic bitch (aka ino) goes to who now feels like her territory is threatened like the stupid dog she is. No, I'm sorry, that was a clear insult to the dog. Her brain capacity is closer to the one of a worm whose functions is limited to eating, sleeping and mating. Pretty much covers what she's doing.

The new girl's only been here on day, I'm not even sure if she knows how much trouble that's coming her way. She won't make it, she's too fragile, weak.

Everything about her screams serene innocence.

My thoughts goes to what happened yesterday;

_She's not looking, and I let my eyes wander over her. Not in a perverted way, I'm just curious. She's tall, sleek and slim, not so slim like the girls in my class who starves themselves, curvy. Especially in the chest area, which doesn't quite match up with her innocent appeal. Her face is smooth and pale, it's a mixture between beautiful and cute. Her nose is straight, eyes big with thick black lashes, perfectly marked cheekbones and thin plump pink lips. She's wearing a opened purple hoodie with a white tight t-shirt beneath and slimmed black jeans with a pair of converses. It looks pretty simple, but with a closer look I see that they all are from pricey brands. I glance backwards, yep. Ino's still glaring at her._

She's definitely dead meat.

I huff, why am I analyzing this so much? I don't care. For once I'm not the targeted one.

Yes, maybe she'll even bring the attention away from me, surely that would be beneficial, I don't care about her well being…

And then she shows up as on que and takes the empty seat next to me. I also recall her name cleaarly now that I see her, Hinata.

"Hi" She says.

Those innocent light lilac eyes meet my green and shame rocks through me.

Such ugly thinking I have. I'm obese.

"Hey" I mutter, adverting my gaze from her and down to the floor.

I shouldn't drag her down with me, suddenly some kind of surge of heroicalness fills me. I can stop her from going even further in to the risk zone. "You shouldn't sit next to me, Ino hates me. She'll run over you as well" I whisper.

Hinata leans back, as if she's thinking.

A small smile graces her plump pink lips, they open slightly and then comes the following words;

"I don't care, we're bench mates. Let's have a fun year together, Sakura"

And i swear, those were the most beautiful words ever spoken to me.

Apparently those words also took a lot of her courage, because she's blushing furiously.

"Yeah" I smile back at her, a wide smile that is honest, for once.


End file.
